i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
