Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
