Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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