i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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