You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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