Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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