yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
