She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Please don't give away my fajitas
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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