i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
