...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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