Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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