I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
