big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize