He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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