The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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