I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize