dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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