I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
whose parrot is this?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
