Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
