We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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