Say something about gay babies.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
