I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
