Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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