this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
