What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's official drugs can't kill me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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