What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
