If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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