Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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