I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
