What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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