Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
