Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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