Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
