I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
