oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
FUCK WHALES
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
