i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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