oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
