It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
