ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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