i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
