but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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