marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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