I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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