3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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