That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
