Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
