He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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