I feel like I'm in dance class right now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
