I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
