i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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