I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
