She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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