she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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