Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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