Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There was a lot of him and a little penis
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
