Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
