I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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