she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
